Where Is My Flying Car?

10 05 2010

We will just go ahead and dispense with the traditional “why I haven’t been blogging” excuse making and jump right into this post like nothing has happened.

(This not so dramatic pause reserved for you to express your feelings about my long blog absence…)

Moving on. How many of us complain about modern technology? Maybe more specifically how many of us complain about the “lack” of modern technology and advances? I mean…I’ve spent my entire life being obsessed with movies that sold me a not so distant future (or in one case “A long time ago…”) that was filled with things like beaming from one place to another, laser guns, encapsulated food options, flying cars, and ultra modern modes of communication. I’ve spent a lot of time being cheesed off that I couldn’t use my flying DeLorean to rise above the plethora of non-readers who all insist on stopping at the Taylor Road exit where the sign clearly says “KEEP MOVING”. I’ve bemoaned the lack of a hoverboard whenever Mrs. M wants to go on one of her massive neighborhood 5K’s. I have even complained that my phone will go from working to not in a span of 10 feet inside my office at work. Come on technology why have you failed us so? We’ve been waiting for our Nike’s with “power laces” and yet I still have to slip on my laceless driving shoes one at a time like every other person on the planet.

For all the complaining let me just take you on a very brief tour of what modern convenience has done for little old me. I can and do on a regular basis do all of the following things:

-Carry 4512 songs worth of music (enough that it could be played non-stop for 12.5 days without repeating) in my pocket in a device that is the size of a deck of cards. Can you imagine, assuming the average CD has 10 songs on it, carrying around 450 CD’s everywhere you go just so you can have what you want on hand at any moment?

-With the same musical “i-device” that I mentioned above I am able to listen every day to my favorite talk radio personality and his two hour radio show…did I mention his show is recorded and produced and put out locally in Washington, D.C.?

-I have a telephone (as I know you all do too) that can find me most anywhere in the world that I am (unless it is the stretch of interstate between the Union Street and Forest Avenue exits…then you are just SOL) without being connected to anything. I mean I know its commonplace to us all but do you ever stop to think about the advances we’ve reached from the days of what we all grew up with as a “cordless phone”?

-Speaking of my telephone. Here are just a few of the things it can and does do most all of the time: watch videos, take pictures, receive and send email from multiple accounts, view pictures, store hundreds of pieces of complex contact information, calculate mathematical functions, record my voice and store messages, serve as an alarm clock, serve as a regular clock, play music that i put on it, purchase new music that i previously didn’t own, access news and weather from multiple locations, give me all the info I could ever need about every movie and TV show there is, purchase download and read novels, tell my television at home to record a show that I want while I’m not even at home, find a restaurant no matter what city I am in, play hundreds upon hundreds of games, shop online, get directions, and well…it will also make phone calls.

-My television does all the work for me. I can watch every show I want to and not have to be home for any of them. They can even air at the same time and its no biggie. I would say I watch about 6,000% more television now that I ever did in the past. I don’t even have to be home to schedule a recording of something. I can also transfer said recordings to my computer to take with me when I’m away.

-Have I mentioned that the above “Swiss Army” phone of wonders fits very comfortably in the palm of my hand?

-There’s my flying car right there…




2 responses

10 05 2010

See, I just told Corey last night that I think I should sue my 3rd grade teacher. She told our class, the class of 2000, that we would have flying cars by the time we graduated. Well, we don’t. I don’t. And, this is just not right. Finishing another decade AFTER high school and, ya know what, my car still won’t fly?


29 05 2010

Love this post! I have a version of said device and end up with the same trouble as you do around Union Street…but somewhere near the 5 way stop on Edgewood Road!!! Its like you just don’t exist there!

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