I Feel Like A Woman’s Armpit

18 06 2009

or: “Further Thoughts on a Freshly Shorn Facial Unit”

**In the world famous bullet point list style**

  • I’ve been told by a reliable source that when a woman shaves her underarms (particularly during weather seasons that promote sleeveless attire that expose said underarm regions to the elements) there can be a solid bit of irritation that goes with it. That’s how my face has felt all day. Sweat, sun, heat, breathing, you name it my face has felt like its on fire.
  • Typically at my house when the Mrs. gets bored she re-arranges the furniture, this time she somehow convinced me to re-arrange my face. As a good friend told me “when I get bored I read a book”…I probably should go to the library more or something.
  • You ever buy new shoes and wear them out the first few times and feel like they are the largest brightest things that one has ever adorned their feet with? I mean the kind of things you are pretty sure are visible from space? That’s what my face feels like. Walking around it feels like I’ve got a neon white pair of Keds sticking out of my face.
  • Perhaps the most useless super power on earth that I have achieved with this shaving is that I can tell you exactly where every AC vent is in any possible room and where the air is blowing from.
  • I generally (and yes this is ridiculous…almost as much as the fact that I’ve devote not one but TWO posts to shaving my face) just don’t enjoy my face without facial hair. I remember now why its been 4 years since the last shave and will be at least 4 if not more before I do it again.

That’s all for now. I promise to try to not make the next post beard related.

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3 responses

18 06 2009
Mary

Be still my heart. Nick posting two days in a row!?!

I’m so over the moon right now that I almost don’t care that the consecutive posting revolved around facial hair with a detour to discuss female armpits.

18 06 2009
Lane

(singing) “…and you look like one too!”

23 06 2009
Bean

Personally, I prefer your face with hair as well. Hang in there. Your womanly armpit face will survive, hey hey!

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