Things That Are Hurting America #3

1 08 2008

TACO BELL

We’ve all been there. Admit it you’ve had a night like this. It is late, you have been awake just long enough that you are a little delirious, perhaps you’ve had a little bit more to drink than you needed. You’re looking around seeing many beautiful ladies/dudes in your periphery and the field is wide open. You’re judgement is just impaired enough that you are willing to play “let’s make a mistake tonight and hope we don’t make eye contact tomorrow”. As you look around you set your sights on the siren that is calling out to you and makes you say “YES I CAN”. The next morning you wake up feeling the ‘hair of the dog’ in your mouth, an urgent rubmling in your tumbly, and the cold white dread of “oh my God, what have I done?” and more terrifyingly “how will this affect my future?”. The evil coyote that you spent your evening of bad judgement with was none other than Taco Bell.

And Taco Bell is hurting America. First of all we have Taco Bell as its own corporate entity. Taco Bell, which was founded in California in 1962 by Glen Bell is an American fast food restaurant that serves “mexican food”. What Taco Bell really serves is anything that has cheese, refried beans, lettuce, nacho style cheese, LOW grade beef replacement product, and did I mention cheese all in some form of tortilla. This food is the lowest common denominator in American fast food. I find it hard to believe that if it were not for the late night college/drunken party/high school non thinking crowd that they would not still be open. Let me put it this way Taco Bell is not where you go if you are making an informed decision about feeding yourself. I say all of these disparaging things in the light of the fact that I have eaten WAY MORE Taco Bell in my life than I would like to admit. I’m a part of the problem here that is for sure. For example on Wednesday evening I went and got Taco Bell for Laura and me for supper. It was a bad mistake (one made surprisingly because I hadn’t even been drinking and it was before 10 p.m.) one that my stomach paid for through out the night and most of the next morning. I should have known.

Similarly to Taco Bell hurting America, a second component to this particular post is that the Taco Bell on Vaughn Road next to Sommer’s Place is definitely hurting America. That’s right I’m calling them out. You will recall recently that I told a story about our experience at the Drive Through. Well on my trip the other night I decided I would outsmart the system by going inside and ordering the food to-go. Imagine my surprise when it didn’t go the way I thought. Here’s the conversation:

Me: I’d like a number 6 (two chalupas and a regular taco) and I would like to make that regular taco a supreme please

TB Worker: You can’t do that

Me: I’m sorry?

TBW: I don’t think you can make that taco a supreme

Me: Really?

TBW: Yeah, but (wait for it, wait for it) you can add tomatos and sour cream if you want though.

Me: (standing silently wondering how much of my brains will get on his upside down name tag when my head explodes in about .4 seconds)

Summary of the rest of that trip: both our orders were wrong, I specifically added sourcream to my ‘mexican pizza’ (which was nothing more than two stale pieces of tortilla like substance with LOTS of refried beans, a speck of beef product, and some cheese on the top…no tomatos, no scallions, NO SOUR CREAM) and of course the sour cream was not there, they got the hard vs. soft taco thing wrong (its a lot of choices I know), and I am a little bit shocked the drinks weren’t wrong which would have been weird because I filled them myself.

Anyhow. Just say no to Taco Bell. I think, and I know this is a bold statement, but I might be done with TB for good, because from TB comes NOTHING good.

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6 responses

1 08 2008
Valerie

You know what else is bad for America? Asking people from all over the globe to make a certain chicken dish for a contest and then NOT POSTING ANY RESULTS. That can’t be good for our country’s already struggling world image.

1 08 2008
Luke

burned.

1 08 2008
Lane

I never thought I’d see the day when you turned your back on the Bell. Of course, I do note that you WERE there only two days ago, so perhaps it’s not THAT evil.

2 08 2008
LMilky

NOTHING GOOD!?!?! I love the hot sauce that fills the butter compartment of our fridge because I “save” it thinking “I’ll use this” but never do…eerrrrrr

2 08 2008
Jen

I love this post!! I am so cracking up right now! I have been there and you are right…NOTHING GOOD comes from TB! I have a ban on them as well…mainly because the last couple of experiences with them have been gross! The food does not taste the same without beeing somewhat intoxicated! Imagine that!

Love the post…it really made me LOL!!!

2 08 2008
jason

I agree with Valerie
AND i have had a distaste in my mouth for years when it comes to TB…..I honest to God cannot remember when I was last in that place.
And your last statement about being done with TB sounds like something I might say about LOST or going to the movies…..

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