Thoughts on Reviews

8 07 2008

(she is reviewing you and judging you all at the same time)

Recently the fabulous Mr. H wrote a blog post about his love of book reviews. The other day I was driving in the car and reflecting on some recent movie reviews that I had read in the newest issue of Rolling Stone (you know the one with our next President on the cover). I have decided that there are many areas of day to day life that would be vastly improved if they were subjected to full public review (I’m not talking comment card/court of public opinion/I told my friend and they told two friends and they told two friends…). I mean full on written reviews that would give people an idea of what is really going on. Here are just a few examples of some areas that I think could benefit.

-Worship Services-I know on the surface this could seem a little harsh and against the spirit of going to church, but hear me out. What if churches and their worship services got reviewed in the paper? I believe there would be much more competition amongst pastors to be good at their job and not just get away with doing the same old things. This could potentially improve music, sermons, liturgy, and more. I mean picture turning in your Sunday paper to read something like this:

“Sunday’s service at St. Mattresses Holy Epidemiological Temple were a searing reminder of why priests are typically older than Methuselah . The service performed by the Reverend Father Hold M. High was one that demonstrated the inexperience of a much younger man. The fumbled lines of liturgy, the spilling of the sacramental wine, and the accidental lighting of the choir directors hairpiece by the children during the children’s sermon were just a few representations of a priest in need of some holy comforting. If chaos is your style and you like to be on the edge of your seat (the service will take you there the sermon is another story) during your time with the Holy one then SMHET is the place for you. Join us next weekas we load up the Prius and visit The Holy Cathedral of Saturday Night Fever featuring His Holiness Jerry Maguire and the church of Sciencefictionology.”

-Cell Phone Stores-Okay so I know we all have opinions and share them on a regular basis about how terrible customer service is in a cell phone store but I think that is not enough. I think getting some strongly worded reviews out in the local paper might serve to let everyone else realize its not just them and that we are all getting doinked every time we set foot into mobiletelrizont&tular. This one might not make much difference but it would make me feel especially better if the nastier of the reviewers would be the ones to take on this burden and give them the ‘R-rated’ version of Mark Bullock’s “CLEAN UP”.

-Drivers-I think we should each get a turn once a year to review, on the local news, the driving of one individual of our choosing. As a part of this review process we should get to post the persons picture, vehicle and tag number, and cell phone number (so that when we see them ruining traffic for the rest of us we can beep in on their call and tell them to get the heck off or pull over). Again this one really wouldn’t accomplish much but would probably make me feel better.

-Blogs-Okay so maybe I’m just kidding about this one. I don’t want my pithy (I’m pithy aren’t I? I mean I think I am filled with pith.) musings to be trashed and lambasted mostly because I don’t update enough. So maybe we will leave this sleeping dog to lie.

I’m sure there are other things that should be flummoxed in the public sphere. Any takers?

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6 responses

8 07 2008
Eleanor

Two snaps.

8 07 2008
John III

Nice update I do wonder sometimes what a non-partisan reader would think of my blog occasionally and the others that I read. And I wonder sometimes what it would be like to have a guy like the one on PTI that gives his “corrections” to the show that day sit through one of our backporch conversations and the comment on it : ).

8 07 2008
luke

my all-encompassing review of our Blog Circle.

you ready?

1) some of us don’t blog enough.
2) some of us blog just enough.
3) one of us blogs WAY too much.

i’ll give you one guess as to who that last one is.

9 07 2008
jason

Luke makes it sound like we are all some form of Goldilocks…..This bed is too hard …this bed is too soft ..my soup(i hate pourage ) is too warm

9 07 2008
LMilky

funny love 🙂 this post makes me smile.

10 07 2008
Jen-Jen

Apparently you have been trying out some STRANGE churches since leaving Millville!

Funny but much needed post! I agree on all points! Snaps to you!

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