The Day That Would Not End

28 03 2007


Last week was Spring Break (a.k.a AEA, Spring Holiday, or “Cruise the Strip in PC” week) here in Elmore County. The result of my youth group being out of school for the week was my decision to have a ‘Day of Service’ followed up by a trip to a regional theme park whom I won’t name (but I will say that some Flags were involved). The caveat to the trip to the theme park was that you HAD to come work at the service day if you wanted to go on Saturday.

Our Friday of service found us involved with a national non-profit organization that is near and dear to former President Jimmy Carter’s heart. Our task for this great day of service was…brace yourself…STIRRING PAINT. That’s right we had to open cans of paint, that had previously been open and used before, stir them up and then label the outside of each can with a dab of that can’s particular color.  Anyone who has ever worked with Jr. High students can tell you right away that this was a VERY BAD IDEA!! After 3 hours of playing “Dutch Boy” (so sue me it wasn’t a full day) we went to eat lunch at the mall food court, to which most every girl was concerned about being seen by someone they might know with paint on themselves. Oh the horror!

Now for the GOOD part of the story…

Saturday morning we leave Millbrook bright and early at 6:30 to make our way to the aforementioned flag bearing land of joy. Shortly after crossing through Atlanta and making our way onto interstate 285 we find ourselves in a dead standstill of traffic. The construction they were doing on the SIDE OF THE ROAD was such that it necessitated funneling 4 lanes of traffic into ONE. We sat in said traffic for 2 HOURS!! Eventually we break free from traffic and catch up with the rest of our caravan in the parking lot. My next task was to buy the tickets so the group could get into the park. This little feat took at staggering HOUR AND FIFTEEN MINUTES. After waiting in one line and attempting to buy tickets with coupons I was informed that the young lady working the counter could only sell me 15 tickets at a time (I needed 21). She informed me that I would need to go to the Will-Call window and purchase them there. After learning that I would have to stand in another line to buy the tickets I employed a technique that I picked up from my good friend Brian Gates…I said “That SUCKS” and turned around and walked to the next line. This line was 10 times worse than the first one. Not only is Will-Call where you go when you’ve been smart and ordered your tickets ahead of time, it is apparently also where you go when you are trying to play “Let’s Make A Deal” to get into Happy Flagland. There were people trying to buy ‘disability tickets’ who were clearly not disabled, there was a sorority that got the group rate for their tickets but each went up to the window to pay individually, and last but certainly not least was the young man right in front of me who appeared to be about 25 years old and could not count out his own money to pay for his tickets to which his girlfriend standing with him replied “see this is why you shouldn’t have dropped out of high school”. So finally tickets are purchased and we go in the park. At this point (remembering that we left Millbrook at 6:30 a.m.) we are entering the park at 1:30 in the afternoon.  A couple of factors to keep in mind is that at this point in the year “Painful Flag Torture Land” is only open on Saturdays and Sundays and they close at 7:00 p.m. so needless to say they were busy. How busy you ask? Laura and I waited in line for the Batman Roller coaster for over TWO HOURS. That is a lot to start with then when you realize you have waited in line for a ride that lasts a minute and twenty-five seconds (oh you bet I timed it) you start thinking about all you could have done with those two hours, like maybe DRIVE HOME!! Wrapping up the day the youth were asked to be back at the front gate at 6:30 so as to avoid having to leave with the entire rest of the park when it closed at 7:00. Who would have been surprised to find out that the entire group of Senior High students that went were 15 minutes late. Yep that’s right we left with everyone else. The ride home was smooth and we got back to the apartment around 10:00 and were finally ready to wind down. After a cold Sam Adam’s Scotch Ale on the porch I decide it is definitely time to put the day behind me and get in bed. That’s when the GRAND FINALE kicks in. As I am emptying my pockets of the days various items (receipts, money, etc..) I make the horrible realization that I HAVE LEFT MY DEBIT CARD AT THE PARK. I only used it ONCE the entire day and it was in the last 10 minutes we were there. Frustrated I get on the phone immediately to cancel the card and order up a new one, but being the unrivaled genius that I am accidentally CANCEL LAURA’S CARD INSTEAD. I swear my head was about to lift off my shoulders and head for orbit. I couldn’t believe I had done either of those things because it is typically not my nature to lose/forget things (keys, cards, phones, etc…). Needless to say I didn’t fall asleep right away. Eventually it all worked out and I guarantee you that the next time someone mentions a trip to a certain theme park I am going to beat them with all Six of those Freakin’ Flags and then see if it is still a good idea. GRRRRRRRRR!!




2 responses

28 03 2007
The Bean

Classic. Only I tend to lose items (such as car keys, glasses, etc.) in my home but only find them in across the ocean moves every 3 years. I am currently missing my car key. I hope this doesn’t take another 3 years to find. 😦

28 03 2007

So, inviting you along next time we go to 6 Flags would be … bad?

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